D. Sharko


To do it, one needs no especial intellect, or education, or special mystic sence, though it is advisable to have all this. The main thing is to have inflexible self-reliance and a burning desire to give the true faith to the mankind.

In the begining one has to acquire a symbol of faith and to fabricate a new religion - only fools take used stuff. And, as the less discerning electorate is already picked up by organizations like White Brotherhood and Labour Russia, you will have to work hard to create a net for catching souls. And it is better to spin it secretly, unhurriedly, alone or in a narrow circle of future patriarchies of the faith.

I don't advise you to say that you inherited obtained product from ancient Egyptians or from Aztecs or from drowned Atlantida. All this is hackneyed and it will not work, because all ancient civilizations and all good places on the map, where "the gold testimony" could have been buried for you, have already been taken up by your competitors. No, I forgot: Antarctica still remains virgin. By the way, why don't you find some madly ancient tradition there under a two-kilometer layer of ice? Here your fantasy can spread widely and with impunity. But if you are not interested in affiliation with traditions, then it does not matter, besause it is not required.

But you shouldn't work too hard, just shape your afflatus using what you have close at hand, everything is of use. Draw information right out of the ether, i.e. out of the air, imagine that you are creator of the universe and give freedom to your fantasy. Logic is not required - you're not writing an algebra textbook. Hovewer, you should not go mad on verbiage and graphorrhea, imitating Blavatskaya. A teaching should be rather misty and compact enough. After all, it's jet age, and modern congregation doesn't like to be too charged. And later, as needed and with development of commercial success you may add fuel to the fire.

In addition to originality, a teaching should contain some ritual know-how. Invent several stylish ceremonies, paint them brightly, give more aesthetics - it works great. But remember: if you want to achieve real success and to make real bucks in this field, then you need to believe in all this stuff you wrote, otherwise you can't get that particular magnetizm, which hypnotizes the crowd so well. Therefore make your religion only for yourself and suitable for yourself.

Before you make the laity happy by new revelation, I advise you to notify your friends and acquaintances, that a mysterious power is calling you and you're going away, no one knows where. Optimal period of your absence is 1 year. You need it to provoke an explosion of interest to yourself. Then appear suddenly, and start to shock those around you by nonadequate behaviour. The more nonadequate your behaviour, the higher the interest to your personality, respectively. The main thing here is not to go too far. Otherwise you will have to continue your missionaristic activity in a hospital or in a correctional facility.

It is not out of place to divide the globe into more or less equal pieces in advance, so that you might reward them to your especially devoted followers and appoint local governors: you need all the world, don't you? If you do not need all the world, then you either lack self-reliance, or your desire to make all the mankind happy is not poignant enough. This way you will never make much money in the field of sectarianism. Then it's better not to waste time and to take up real estate, or currency speculations - it's proven stuff.

Besides, don't hesitate to give your adherents the greatest titles you can to think out, such as Apostle of Eternal Life or Yaroglober of Western Siberia. No one except you, nowhere and never will raise them so high, hence it will consolidate your authority. The more so, as you surely can give them nothing more, except eternal life, and better karma... Or what do you offer?

The key organizational question of any real totalitarian sekt is the question of tax. Define it at once how to contribute to the common fund according to your hierarchy - who, when and how much? And how to treat irresponsible flock members who will hide thier income? Do it beforehand, otherwise you will have problems.

It is not a cartoon on clergymen. 
And it is not even a cartoon on sectarians. This is a cartoon on cockroaches.picture by Dmitry Sharko

Naturally, not everyone will sell his flat and give you all his money. Hovewer, in every country there are people, programmed for self-sacrifice. They are your main clients.
So, what are the two most difficult problems of missionary activity? First of all, being able to find your client in a huge mass of empty and useless mining rock. And then "to bend his brains". In other words, you need to radiate such great flow of love upon him, to show so much care about his feelings and wash his brain so well that he will give you all his wealth and besides will be extremely grateful to you for the chance to be related to the great idea.

Certainly, the idea itself also matters, but 90% of success is gained by your psychological skills. Train diligently and you will get it. Begin with unobtrusive and charming fundraising in the street and in transport - it will give unexpected and usefull experience. Only a bad preacher doesn't want to become a prophet. There is a good exercise that helps to develop a gift of prophecy. You must stop in the middle of the crowd, face its movement and shout aloud, shaking your raised hands - something like: "Everything is in deep shit! All the Earth is in orgasm!", though something more neutral may be better: "People, come to your senses!". Then someone is sure to come to his senses and reach for you. Don't be afraid of to look crazy: this is your business. Every normal person has a kind of lunatic inside, therefore many people instinctively tend to like lunatics and make them their leaders and idols.

To develop love and irradiative ability I recommend you the following exercise: Stand before a mirrow, at the distance of about 70 sentimeters from it, look at your reflection dearly, but without erotic tint, and say as heartily and deeply as possible: "I love you, brother (sister)". Repeat it at least for 10 minutes. The exercise is finished by a slight kiss, again - without erotic tint.
It is good, if you will teach your followers to do this exercise with your portrait.

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Translated by Bzicky, and Anya Zykova.


Copyright 1999-2002,

Zen Chan teachings Ch'an Buddhism Buddha teaching human development technology